Seachest; The whatizzz man;Shakespear's cousin from Madurai.

the whatizz man
When I joined Nut-science college years ago the whatizzz man had a pityful plight playing second fiddle and slave to Ranga.I still remember the bulldog introducing him as a person with years of experience in the Indian army (Without mentioning the truck driver part).From that day till the time I left the college, there havent been a single day when the whatizzz man's foolishness didn't entertain our terrible lives.
                 For those who still got no clue as to what I mean by the 'whatizzz man', here is your answer.The guy couldnt complete a single sentence in English without uttering the word 'what is' ten to twenty times in between.An example may help I guess.Listen to the whatizzz man:-
         " All whatizz cadets, aah whatizz our kalej(college) is conducting ahh whatizz sports day on whatizz the coming whatizz monday.I whatizz want it to be whatizz ferfet(perfect).You all should be whatizz well discplined ya whatizz good obedient ya whatizz well mannered.No whatizz uncivilised cadets ya whatizz unshaven face ya whatizz unironed shirt ya whatizz unpolished shoes...."
          Well that could be forgiven for the sake oh his background.Its quite normal to use connecting words in English say 'well, you know, actually, to be frank, mmm.., eh..' etc.The guy has got some disorder it seems.I wouldnt have raised this topic (neither a single cadet from our college) if the guy had understood his weakness and acted accordingly(and behaved better too.He tortured numerous cadets without mercy.)But he is so over confident that he makes use of every situation he gets to vomit stupidity.
           Now lets move on to another exhibition of his weird talent.While I was in the second year, I got lucky and ended up in the whatizz man's territory, KH.One quiet evening myself and peers Issac and Agarwal were standing and chit-chatting near the ground floor water cooler.It was almost study time.The beast trod in our direction from out of nowhere and very politely asked Agarwal "shall I help you to clublupp?".The dazed Agarwal mumbled "what did you say sir?".He repeated"shall I help you boys to clublupp".We were screwed.The guy was commanding us to do something but couldnt make out what he was telling.Any disobedience in complying with his orders will result in an immediate room inspection, a corresponding mobile capture and a small fine of 15000 bucks.Even after yelling numerous times he couldnt enlighten us.We understood nothing at all.Finally the whatizz man uttered the same thing in Hindi to Agarwal.It clicked.The poor chap only meant "shall I help you to climb up".Thank god he knew Hindi.
            Thats all I have in this part fellas.You all know that this story is never gonna end.So stay tuned to catch the next part where the whatizz man almost kills a cadet with his words.Please join my blog if you like this post.(Click on join this site near the members list and enter your mail Id).It will be a huge favour to help with my efforts.Also give a Google plus one by clicking on the button below.See you... 
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