THE MUCH AWAITED NSC BROCHURE PART 2

When I wrote the first part i never thought it was gonna be such a huge success.The NSC brochure part -1exceeded all expectations and is still running as Numero Uno in Cowsegg.The reception that this write up got is the only inspiration for me to go on with the work of the sequel.(hehe..sounds like Peter Jackson speaking).I also thank Dinesh Bhai among others for the valuable comments and directions to write more about the 'Then tragic, now funny' college stories.
*SELF STUDY (What our cadets does the best!!!)
When an unlucky soul sets his foot in nut-science institute his utmost concern, till the day he leaves the cursed compound forever, is to complete his 3 or 4 year course within the scheduled time period.The following salient features patented by the college really helps a lot in fulfilling the gruesome task.  
  • Shortage of proper faculty all year around.
  • Specialized crash courses, where 5 months portion is completed in 3 weeks, in Principles Of Navigation (PON),Rules Of the Road(ROR), Celestial navigation, Bridge equipment, Ship operations management(SOM) etc.
  • Vacation classes (OMG can you believe it,in civil dress) helping you save the occasional travel expense to home and to bond better with the college campus.(Thats what sea-life is all about they say.The principal lost his mother when he was at sea and he was unable to attend the cremation.With that logic he denies urgent leaves to go home when our parents or somebody close are gravely ill.If you cant attend any important functions when you are at sea does that mean you shouldnt be present while you are at the college too?
  • If there are no faculties, cadets can sit in the classrooms itself or go to the library or internet-lab to refer study-materials.This is my personal favorite line, but when 6 out of the total 8 hours in a day turns out to be like this, even sleepaholics like me will start complaining.Earlier they allowed us to take rest in our cabins during free hours.(and there were many free hours too).
(I cant stop myself from recalling the lovely experience of spending almost an entire semester in my cabin during the final semester of First year, when there was no faculty for five out of the total 8 subjects.(SOM, seamanship, GCHS-1, Nautical physics & mechanics in the first 3 months or so).I never went for lunch, adventurously bunked the few classes that were on and slept.Boy!! wasn't that wonderful to get up every morning, have breakfast and come back to the cabin to sleep, ...sleep, ..sleep..I used to get up after 5 in the evening.I ended the habit when I suddenly lost more than 18 pounds from my skinny figure.Eventually the college prevented cabin rests and used to imprison everyone in the ugly concrete rooms.)

*WORK EXPERIENCE
There are some things that you can’t gain from any other marine college in India. I can proudly say that the hostel life in NSC (abbr for Nut Science college) transformed me from a shy little boy to someone who can survive anywhere on earth. Maroon an NSCian on an island for as many days as you like, he will survive for sure thanks to the work experience provided by the college; no…no international regulations they say.
                Let it be a new year program, inter house cultural fest, sports day, an MMD inspection or the passing out parade, keep in mind dear cadet that your back is gonna break. Especially if you are in NT and you are a first year, then baby boy, your neck is gonna break along with your back. All the work from setting up the stage, transporting the chairs from the hostels to the annex and arranging them, cleaning the ship-in-campus, setting the flags, painting the ship (it’s a daily routine; seamanship is what they call it), preparing the labs and workshops etc is done by the cadets. Not even a single laborer is employed by the college for things like this.
                     The famous college-made stage is constructed by arranging all the cabin-tables in rows and columns and tying them up with ropes (all of ISO 9999 standard).The overall setup gives the ugly impression of a cheap circus tent. Guard Of honor, road manning, march-past parade etc are also done by the poor cadets in order to please the rotted guests including passport officers, clerks, hospital managers et al. Thus work experience is something that you wont ever ask for, brother…..  
  *16:30
(What is this crap? Oh my gosh!!!Its already 16:45 & I’ve got cheru’s 16:30.Boy!! am I screwed?)
This is also a unique feature of NSC that keeps every cadet in shape. When every unlucky soul gets up at 5 o clock and leaves for PT, if you have any idea to rest some time more, you are free to do so. But when you go for the morning muster prepare an apology letter (too many of these will land you in suspension or much more), be ready to stand on all fours till everyone in the ground clears away and clean your PT dress (whattizz..PT riggg…whatizz) because you are gonna be in action this evening.
                   “Peeche mood up..360 degree peeche mood up..180 
degree peeche mood up”,
the duck-assed is in some determination to transform the backs of every cadet into something like….his. “Seat oopar daa “.His invention, ‘the duck-walk’ is extremely useful for the thigh muscles, eventhough you have to seek the help of someone else to get up from the toilet once you finish (Heard that somebody even tried ropes tied at a height to get up, how innovative?) There is one back walk available which makes your inner palm strong from regular contact with the mud and dirt of the parade ground.If you aren’t exhausted already, the next trick is to make you touch a Neem tree far away and come back quickly in the winner getting relieved basis. Everytime you lose, you get another chance to repeat the procedure and come back first.
                      These are all just a few of the tricks available in the OICs’ encyclopedia. I had once heard Chintu ordering Ramasami to make our asses bleed, Goddamnit…..                                                                             
*VIDEO CONFERENCING (Yet another milestone they  sa
The college finally found a way to tackle the problem of shortage in faculty. Very simple, just like transferring the fracture from your right leg to the left. Every subject is getting covered punctually, thanks to the service rendered by faculties teaching from the studio in Chennai. The classes are completed for namesake, while every cadet sleeps, reads novel, plays written games, fights, plays ‘Anthakshari’ in the class, writes assignments or chat in their mobile phones. Are wah!!! Kamal hena?? The sad truth is that even if you try to concentrate in the class, you simply can’t. It just becomes a no man’s show when an old man in well pressed shirts and pants appears on TV and reads out your text book to you just like your Grand mother reading out a story for you at bed-time when you were a kid.
             The end result is that eventhough every class is taken, it doesn’t make any impact on the students.In other words the system didnt produce the expected results.There is always something wrong with the audio.What good is all this of if at the end of the day you have to study on your own to get passed?
*DTS(Don’t Think So) SUPPORTED STAGE SHOWS.
The outsiders who visit NSC have always raised doubts about the killer sound that usually accompanies the stage programs held here. Is it 15000 watts DTS digital surround sound or is it 20000 watts? Lemme tell you the secret. The noise is made by dear cadets, yelling and cooing in displeasure at the way things go in there. The music system and the speakers used in here are 1993 model Ahuja (college property of course) which have vanished from the face of the earth years back.To see the sight of performers getting insulted on stage, thanks to this old shit getting stuck in between and producing wild sounds, is more than bearable. I have always wondered why this college which collects millions and millions of rupees from us for the course can’t spend some bucks on such meager elements which constitute the success of a program?